Musings on Rockferry

I. Preface

                My first semester of college finished, I felt it necessary for me to muse on how it went, that through this I may improve how I deal with those of the future. Now, I think that something like this ought to be not merely constructed in a “dos” and “don’ts” combination for I assume who will seek to read this will not deal with the same issues nor deal with them exactly the way I do. So in my construction of this entry, I feel I must simply speak on what I feel I personally succeeded or failed in and leave others to deal with their conclusions for this semester of Fall ’08 on their own terms. Also, though I hesitate to include this, there will be aberrations in how people feel the semester went and if didn’t you either enjoy or deal with the problems I’ve had, I’m sincerely sorry and you may send all complaints to Michael Stern in Schurz, room 505.

               

II. Outgoing

                I wanted to start this chapter by pointing out what to me is its title’s ironic double meaning. In the onset of this year I came out of the recesses of the St. Louis private school system bracing myself for the invasion of my life by literally thousands of interactions a day with an institution 2500 times larger than the one I attended previously. Suffice to say I was happy with how this particular aspect of college turned out. I must say that I thoroughly appreciated the interactions I enjoyed in my FIG and through THE Fifth Floor Schurz. In many senses the separation between those of the FIG and those not involved in its activities was little to none and all in all I’ve never seen a tighter floor. I’ve always assumed that there would be bumps and wrinkles in the road, all relationships deal with that. While I’m also going to hesitate to delve into this argument, to ignore the existence of problems in a relationship means you’re not very close to that person or group in the first place. Because to be close means to know flaws that we all deal with and it’s the charge of all parties in a relationship to come to terms with this blatant fact.

                My other meaning to relate in the title of this chapter outside of the outgoing social life I benefited from is a more personal aspect of the semester in most every new college student when dealing with personal identity. I hope and am fairly certain that every collegiate feels this need to come to terms with who they are and how they come across to others they interact with on a daily basis. Well, I feel I’m not special in what I have to deal with in this regard. However, the fact is that some way or another we feel compelled to tailor our personal outgoing message to everyone else we meet. When weighing how I’ve dealt with this I’ve resolved that this topic is more a Jeckel and Hyde dichotomy than most other issues I’ve yet to relate.

                Effectively, I like to play off my own ability to be an open individual and relate that sense to others because it truly is difficult to conduct true friendships without some measure of transparency. One thing though that I’ve concluded differently is where transparency hits a major road block. Permit me to describe this semi-complicated issue as it seems to me for I draw on many other lines of thought and will attempt to combine them into one cohesive stream of consciousness. May I start with C.S. Lewis’ conclusions on the tendency of postmodernist thinkers to explain away everything they see as establishing a set of truth claims from Mere Christianity. He shows this pattern of explaining everything away as attempting to prove that what they are seeing is only a window and that there is something behind it that we truly need to see. However, their problem exists in when they disprove all they see, including that which they see beyond their window. For them, to see through everything is not to truly see at all.

                To tie this philosophical argument into my own situation I must also employ another analogy and that is of one of my favorite television characters in the title character of House. One of his catchphrases and one with which he assembles his own conclusions on life is that; “Everybody lies.” To him the issue is not merely what we lie about or even that we do but what truly motivates those around him to live like they do.

                I attest to both of these arguments by Lewis and House in that they are in complimentary disagreement. Everyone wears masks and it is through this that society functions. To be completely transparent to everyone you meet is to be a huge downer. It just is. That’s not as much of a big deal to me because I learned that lesson of whether I’m tight enough with that person to talk about who I am and what I’m dealing with. The other is really my PSA to those who think we aren’t calling their bluff. It’s mostly because I was so bad at hiding who I was from everyone that it kills me when I see people trying to do the same for whatever reason, and sometimes very badly. Compassion is a funny thing like that when it borders on your irritation for that attitude you see in someone and then are resolved to help that person out of what at first irritated you. Well to me, I’ve found to be irritated by people in this predicament and then feel some sort of need to help; so I do. And it's considered a virtue. Sweet

(More to come as I'm still typing, this was just the fruits of a sleepy afternoon in FL; oh, and if you didn't notice, I did not once mention Rockferry in this post, i just thought it was a cool title)