To Be Real Men

Great talk by Mark Driscoll.

Linkage

The Love for God

I envy them their public love. I myself have only known it in secret, shared it in secret and longed, aw longed to show it- to be able to say out loud what they have no need to say at all: That I have loved only you, surrendered my whole self reckless to you and nobody else. That I want you to love me back and show it to me. That I love the way you hold me, how close you let me be to you. I like your fingers on and on, lifting, turning. I have watched your face for a long time now, and missed your eyes when you went away from me. Talking to you and hearing you answer- that's the kick.

But I can't say that aloud; I can't tell anyone that I have been waiting for this all my life and that being chosen to wait is the reason I can. If I were able I'd say it. Say make me, remake me. You are free to do it and I am free to let you because look, look. Look where your hands are. Now.

-from Jazz by Toni Morrison

When reading this and considering writing on it because it meant a bit to me, I figured there were two ways to really take this. I can either take a more personal/online journal approach and appeal to the great parts of this quote that I would have of my own love life but another side of me wants to make evidence of the love of Christ and how I have failed more in this regard, because I honestly have. In more ways then I care to literally relate specifically (something only God truly deserves in my opinion), I have taken the great name of my Father and strewn in through the mud. 

I mean, look at what Morrison's presenting here: a love that was once in secret, built on the little intricacies of a feeling turned into words and actions. But in the end, it's coming to fruition takes place in a very public sense. We as Christians are to be known by our love but how are they to see it if not through a public iteration of the feeling we have for our Lord and Savior? Now, I'm not arguing for works or public professions to be part of what brings about our salvation, but if we are truly saved, are we not to be living out a life that makes evidence to God? Morrison says, "But I can't say that aloud; I can't tell anyone that I have been waiting for this all my life and that being chosen to wait is the reason I can. If I were able I'd say it. Say make me, remake me. You are free to do it and I am free to let you because look, look. Look where your hands are. Now." Now how is that not something we should seek to have from our Savior? Perhaps this is part of how I've felt so long with God, this hesitancy, that makes this quote more real for me. Either way, I've gotta feel that this should be part of a Christian's very personal relationship with Christ. 

Deinos

Here it is in two again, I

Thought you had the cure, guess not.

I guess I already said good-bye, 

And for payment my heart is caught.

I smelled it there as plain as day,

Without thinking 'twould be part three.

But look what happend amongst my play.

For passing GO I'll pay a fee.

I picked the car but got the boot,

No thimble'd cover up this roll,

Jail Free Card but when 'twas that moot?

Three rolls paired and I'll rescind control.

I know this seems lame or absurd

But just look around and see? I'm right. 

But after this I should have learned

To know when men have lost their fight.

This is it and I'm done for real.

In future cases count to ten,

For that's the number of appeal

And this the week that I've begun.

-Untitled-

I speak of art, and time, and sea,
And yet hold fast to none but this:
That God was raised upon a tree,
And silenced death with a loving kiss.

Throughout my life I held the same
Of God, and life, and all the world.
But lo', how would I know when came
A rose ere blooming did I hold?

I hold it true through time and space,
That none but His love 'twould I need.
Though deep inside my every pace,
I strain to a call that all pay heed.

I'd love this Eve but hear me speak.
She holds no face, she bends no knee.
This rose of that which I should seek,
Knows no infidelity.

Troy's prince he felt for much the same,
And if those dying beneath his feet,
Only knew for which cause they came.
What, for whose face Troy felt defeat?

I've found the burden of Paris,
And have felt the pain of Priam.
Please tell me what I ought have done,

And what else called for me to run?

If all I sought was just a smile,

You'd see my mouth and eyes unfurl.

Yet here you see my heart in view,

And I'm sad to say it's torn in two.

Life

First off, God is good. Nuf' said. He died and rose that I may live.

Now that that's been established, life is a whole other story. Life is there to really do exactly the opposite to you. Life is there to take it out of you and really break you down. I'm not gonna say that there aren't good parts of life but really, who's got your back when the chips are down? Who's actually going to pick up that cross that you know you can't carry? Christ did not merely empathize with humanity like your friends/parents/peers can only do. Christ actually did everything we couldn't and then gave it all up so we could have what He's had before time began. When you have something good going for you, the only thing sometimes, we want to hold onto it as tightly as we can, and why not? Christ sacrificed all we never could and in that I find comfort. 

Band Review: 38th Parallel

Some of you may remember a band called Five Iron Frenzy. They were a Christian alternative band that featured some cool brass parts. Unfortunately, they broke up after not becoming all that successful but for those of us that listened to them, they still rock. 38th Parallel is like this but double or triple that. Because as far as I know, they only have one CD, Turn the Tides. This CD is chock full of great lyrics and an overall well done rock sound. There are so many great songs on this CD that I can't really name all of it but say that you have to listen to all of it. Some of them deal with trying to attain God, some about how it feels once you've done that, and some about how it feels to be away from your Lord and Savior and have to come humbly to him on your face. Sound-wise, it's a bit of POD and Pillar combined with a lot deeper message. For some reason, those other bands sometimes sound like their lyrics are kind of tertiary. That is certainly not so for 38th. Anyway, check it out, no excuse not to.

***** out of *****

CD Link

Another Great Song: Say The Word by The Classic Crime

I had months to write a song
That captured who you are
But I fear I have done you wrong
Because I've failed you so far
The chord that struck, an angel fell
The sky went dark and it all comes down
The choices made, the lies forgotten
Oh, well

This is the way that I know
This is the way that I know
I would give everything for some hope
Are you different, could I be different too?
Nobody knows you, nobody knows you like I do

There's a song outside my window
And it plays to your tune
And there's a life inside this pencil
And it lives for what is true
Cause I am lost for words, the cost for her
Was way to much to bear
You're not perfect, but I don't care

This is the way that I know
This is the way that I know
I would give everything for some hope
Are you different, could I be different too?
Nobody knows you, nobody knows you like I do

Are you different, could I be different too?
Nobody knows you, nobody knows you like I do

Say the word, say the word
Are you different, could I be different too?
Nobody knows you, nobody knows you like I do

Yeah, woah

Are you different, could I be different too?
Nobody knows you, nobody knows you like I do
Are you different, could I be different too?
Nobody knows you, nobody knows you like I do

Great Song: "Who Needs Air" by The Classic Crime

I long to taste adventure like the nature of the sea,
Always moving, always hiding all the creatures from beneath.
Singing silent songs of sadness my heart waits for its chance,
To dance upon the ashes of my burned up little plans.

And I stand alone before the night.
My nakedness is so clear in the glow of the moonlight.
Life is old but so short.
We are young, we want more.

I'm drowning, but I don't care,
'Cause when you got what I got, what I got
Who needs air?
I don't need air.

My addiction to danger like the rush of the sea,
Like a wave on the rocks the lessons crash down on me.
I don't need to prove the world to you only to myself.
So step back and look away as I dive into the swell.

I'm drowning, but I don't care,
'Cause when you got what I got, what I got
Who needs air?

So take me down to the river like a little child,
And take my hand and tell me it's okay to be wild.
I never knew the world until I saw through your eyes,
I never knew myself until I ripped off my disguise
(I ripped off my disguise).

I'm drowning, but I don't care,
'Cause when you got what I got, what I got
Who needs air?

I'm drowning, but I don't care,
'Cause when you got what I got, what I got
Who needs air?
(I have come to the realization that life is more than what I have accomplished.
And life is more then the realization that we have accomplished nothing at all.)

I'm drowning, but I don't care,
'Cause when you got what I got, what I got
I don't need air
(True success is so selfless so drown in the lyrics
of your life and give up the air that you breathe.
You don't need anything. You don't need anything.)

I don't need air

What I'm Excited About Right Now, Of This Very Moment

I'm learning Greek and you're not. Because you wouldn't understand. People ask me why I do it. They say, "What, you just want to pick the most out there major ever?" or "What are you, some kind of eternal nerd who can't get his head out of the past?" You simply don't know me if you're asking me that. I'm the kid that when my parents said I had to take Latin in 7th grade why I couldn't take Greek instead. I've spent close to the last ten years of my life waiting to do this stuff and I'm still hungry for more. Honestly, it doesn't matter how hard or how long it takes, I will finish this stuff and I will do it well. Am I taking a pay cut because no one wants to hire a Classical Language/History double major? Maybe. Does a part of me care? Definitely. But another part tells me that there is simply no other pursuit that makes sense. You can point at math and show me how the universe works but I will hopefully be able to point to the Word of God and eliminate half of my confusion to whether parts of it should be taken seriously or not because I can see exactly which word the writers chose to use. I'm not in a competition here to the best major but I want to better myself more than anything else I could learn. To me, that isn't about reactionary education, where it's focuse on problem solving but I want to be able to speak on and hold conversation that's highly connected to the past and bears the weight of those who came before me. See, outside of the fact that I can't do advanced math well or even understand a lot of what makes it work, I feel like I can get discredited when outside of my own "Classic" bubble. Oh well, your loss. Now, back to writing a paper on Rear Window, finishing my analysis of Eliot's The Waste Land, and wondering when to start my History homework by reading Plutarch's Life of Alexander. Yeah, that's what's up.

The Classic Crime

Link to New CD

Really liked this new band. Kind of a mix between alternative and harder rock but it's all pretty good. Great if I'm in a mood where I don't particularly care to listen that intently but still great to get stuff done to. Not all that deep, but I've got to listen to more of it before I really can pick a favorite song.