Compensation

It's an ugly word. We all do it. I could be done right there because honestly, it's something we all tend to resort to when under stress or pressure, internally or externally. However, what I want to know is "how," because there are a million ways in which we try to come to terms with our own insufficiencies. 

A way I've been recently exposed to is a display of bravado. This is one where it's out in the open for everyone to see and is a direct attack on that which is perceived as a threat to one's own self-worth. These kinds of external moves to redirect blame or embarassment is often called out by others as "trying too hard" or "he's obviously compensating for something" and in a way this takes just a negative connotation. What I propose is for us to come alongside someone who's trying to work through some insecurities of their own whether or not we feel they'd do the same for us. But I digress. 

In the same vein is this attack on something external but is not directed at the threat itself by trying to show off but as an actual cutting down of those who may feel even lower. Now, this may not be someone who's actually feels lower than the other person but may be having an off day and just look like crap and act the same way. This is a more difficult situation to me because often I'm distracted by the aggressors compensation because I feel pity for the person being attacked. Sometimes, I feel as if we should be compelled to come as fellow brothers and sisters to this attacking individual and try to come to terms to what they're dealing with in their life. For me this takes a lot of trust and a solid relationship because rarely do I even open myself to just this sort of correction. This whole thing takes on that saying I'm sure our mothers have told us, "he's just jealous, honey, he's just jealous." And in that your mom makes you feel worse because you couldn't have achieved this by yourself. But once again, I digress. 

The last form of compensating I'm more or less familiar with because this is just such one that I've been known to partake in is completely separating yourself from outside influences because it's simply easier. To me this is one of the easiest to relate to as an outside observer but it can often go on unnoticed for quite a while. Now obviously, an extreme extrovert who suddenly turns into mopey Mervin is going to be easy to spot but subtely, you can draw yourself back and feel on a defense that to me can sometimes turn into an unhealthy situation. For me, this is often something where I'm dealing with an issue in my life on my own and am not willing to let others see it or even try to help me with it if they do catch on that I'm hurting. It can take place in many different ways for different people, I'm just trying to see how it happens and what we can do to fix it.

Now, what am I going to do with this post? I mean, this is a great observation but if it's not going to be applied to any sort of change in my own life, what's the point? Well, my personal encouragement for me and my readers is to do the exact opposite of what I've just wrote. For instance, someone who's cutting down should be looked at from where they are in they're own heart and those who may be going through a time where they are uncomfortable in the community should be brought alongside and given just he helping hand they may not be willing to ask for. I've been told the best sermon is the one the preacher gives to himself and that's exactly what I'm trying to do here. Here I am preaching about compensation but what I'm looking for is that I may incorporate just these changes into my own life and how I interact with those around me.