Failure is an Ugly Thing to Waste

Well, I never thought I would have to do this for this blog, but in hindsight I should have seen it coming. My life can almost be defined from apology to apology; from learned experience to learned experience. However, what happens now is the hardest part in my opinion, and that is where I have to man up and come to terms with my faults and where I go wrong.

This blog was meant to be a place where I could just muse on life and share it in a slightly more open place than a journal. So yeah, that's effectively what this is, a journal of what I think and feel. However, it took on a connotation with something I never wanted it to and that is a burn book. For those not associated with the movie Mean Girls, this would be a place for people to raz on everyone around them to make themselves feel some twisted form of accomplishment. In my recent post, I did just this. I took out my frustrations and anger on an individual I have failed to understand or come to terms with and slandered his name as a fellow man created in God's image. I was wrong and I will deal with the consequences of these actions. 

Once again, I have taken it to heart that I must reserve all that I think and write to this blog to encompass to the cares of all of you, my readers and those whom they care about. If anyone sees me as less of a person because of this, I would not fault you for I am prepared to receive just a reaction as that. Do I have an answer for you? No. There is no answer or logical syllogism that will repair my name as a writer and a man of God. I can only hope that in the future, you may see me as I am, a broken man who has failed to live up to the expectations of those around me.

More music, attributed to Clayton

Imeem playlist with their music

The Wedding

Very solid band with an awesome ability to cross a lot of genres. Really enjoyed all of it. I've yet to give my thanks to Clayton for his recommendation. 

**** out of 5

Reality vs. Hubris (A Post on Personal Musings)

I'm reminded of Dizzy Dean, the famous Cardinals hurler in the 30s, who said, "It's not bragging if it's true." But as much as I feel the need to throw this quote in the faces of everyone who feels that bragging is wrong, I feel it's all a matter of timing. For instance, going back and forth with your buddies makes sense, expecially in response to another's challenge. However, where it all falls apart from what I've seen is this need I've somehow seen to just bring it up in random conversation. Well, maybe that's just about me feeling the need to compensate for some self-imposed inadequacy. Oh well, life goes on. I figure I'll just let what I do well speak for itself. 

New Music (or I feel like I'm churning these posts out like crazy)

CD Preview

I must say I was always of the opinion that The Red Jumpsuit Apparatus was just like any rock band, and they are. Perhaps you were expecting me to change my opinion by TRJA taking a different road in their new CD, Lonely Road, to reinvent themselves as a band. However, that is not the case. The case is that they just perfected that which caught my ear from the beginning. They are always about having semi-catchy tunes to punkish instrumentals. What I'm happy about is that they've put much more stock in the vocals of their frontman, Ronnie Winter. He takes on a lot more challenging series of vocal parts and thus I give him a bunch of credit. 

One last note, I really liked the picture painted by the last song, Godspeed. It reminds me of Sam's considerations of the Haradrim soldier killed in front of him who falls from an oliphaunt. The whole issue of war and the difference in allegiances is a great ending to a solid CD. Pick it up if you have liked even one single of their music, or if you haven't heard them before, check them out and I'm sure you will like them.

Overall rating: **** out of 5

Song Highlights: Represent, Believe, Lonely Road, and Godspeed

<-----Video

This is pretty much what I'm thinking about a lot recently cuz I'm into this thing called boffer club at MU. It's pretty awesome because I get to fight finally. And the guy in this video is really good at it.

Food for Thought, And Drugs to Help

Barry Bonds' IQ is 120, do you think you can beat it? Click Here

         With all these arguments about steroids, it got me thinking; there are drugs that can make you better at school, right? There are enough drugs, over the counter and not, that can help you focus and "perform" better at school. I for one, take a form of Ritalin because it helps a lot in my ability to consciously focus both during homework and out in my community. I can't even count the number of times I've felt the need to just blurt out what was on my mind but felt it much easier to control myself during a time when I was on my meds. However, as it goes for all good things, there exists this need to abuse or at least misuse them. Many stories have been passed around talking about kids getting ADD/ADHD medicine to get that "extra edge" before they study or go in for a test. I've even been asked to sell some of mine to individuals who wanted to be able to either focus better or just get higher grades on a test. 

         So I ask you, my readers, should there be drug testing before kids take the SAT or ACT? If we're talking about unfair advantages, then we certainly should seriously consider implementing this. Honestly, thousands of dollars and the futures of millions of kids' lives are at stake here. Can we truly risk consciously allowing jacked up scores or skewed curves for the entire country? We already have in place ways of allowing those who are allowed certain priviliges based on disabilities (none of which I've appealed to, by the way, as I've never felt the need or desire to be accommodated any differently than my other colleagues in an academic realm), however, are we prepared to come to terms with the fact that there are means, and means used by kids who aren't sometimes old enough to drive,  for a student to get an unfair advantage over their peers of similar ability or work ethic? 

        Finally, and herein lies my final point, what are we telling our next generation if we don't respond appropriately to this issue? If we are not content to let our athletes, those who are paid to play a game, buy and sell what are seen by some to be beneficial drugs; what can we be showing to our children other than applied hypocrisy by looking the other way?

Because Life Needs Balance

I feel compelled to balance my posts with intellectual versus personal (see Musings on Rockferry to see a failed experiment to balance both of them in one post). Well, here's the personal cuz I've been feeling the both today. 

Well, suffice to say, I'm content today. I'm not sure if it's all about being content, but at least I'm not worried about anything so yeah, content makes sense to describe how I'm doing. It's not so much about not having a care in the world and all that business, but more an "I can do this" sort of feel. Half of it may be that I have dropped some of the issues that were holding me up, but the other may be just a feel like I'm not all alone in all this. Well, here's to anyone who's feeling the same as I, and my regrets to those who's living in Squalor (and yes, that is a Music History and Appreciation joke).